Pictures.

Today, a very close friend is coming with me and my family to the park for a picnic, and to snap some family pictures. I was worried because it has been raining, and gloomy outside, but it is beautiful, and I am so excited :)

Wish us luuck.
Have a nice Saturday.

2:u, ♥ :me

that is how I used to start my letters to Phillip when we were in high school. We don't really wrtie letters anymore but I don't know, there is something in the air today. Something about the cool weather, the crisp feeling of being outside, that reminds me of our love. The love that we have been building for what seems like forever.

This post is going to be mushy. Its a long, sappy, love filled post. So, beware.

Phillip,
I don't think you will ever know what you do to me. The way that you have made me feel since the first time I met you while playing trivial pursuit at a party. Yea, I remember. I remember that you were wearing a white polo shirt. Sitting there at my best friends house, acting like you didn't see me looking at you. I remember how you first started talking to me, asking me if I had sneaked out, if I needed a ride home. I remember the grin you made when you found out, that no, I didn't need a ride home, because I was sleeping over. I am sure you remember the grin I gave you when you told me you lived right down the street.

We hit it off instantly. I know that when we were just two lost kids, trying to find our way. Things were really hard. It was hard to be young and in love, it was hard to tell our friends, we were scared of what they would say, especially you. It was hard being young, and pregnant, not ready for such a huge comittment.

But, my love, we have survived. We are only one of two couples that I know that have made it this far. That still love and devote themselves to eachother. I am so grateful for that.

I am so happy to have this life with you. I am forever humbled by the love that you have shown me and our son. The utter devotion that you have given me. I will never get over it. I will never lose this feeling.

After all that life has thrown at us, all that we have thrown at eachother, we have made it. We have struggled, and loved, we have fought, and hurt eachother. I wouldn't change a minute of the pain, hurt or disappointment, because without it, we wouldn't be who we are today.

We are a happy married couple, with a beautiful, hopefully expanding family. That is something to brag about. Something to capture and hold on to. Thank you. Thank you for all you do for our family.

Thank you for being you. Thank you for letting me be me. Thank you for showing me what a real man is.
& mostly, Thank you for being the best father I have ever witnessed.

You truly are a Godsend. & to say I love you is an understatement. There are no words to describe how I feel about you.

Mwah, xoxox,

Mrs. Phillip DePaul (I will never tire of writing that, and it being legal and true.)

Passion.

I talked with a really good friend yesterday about how much mothers sacrifice to be mothers. We rearrange our lives, our priorities, and our bodies.We make a choice to put some one else in front of ourselves, we make ourselves second. My friend stumped me when she asked,  "What were you passionate about before Trevor?" hmmp. I had nothing, I couldn't remember. I still can't remember. I know that there was a time when I loved writing, and a time where I sewed like crazy. There are a million other little short lived passions. All little things that I fell in love with, and gave up before I got pregnant.

All weekend, I racked my brain. Telling myself, you have to have something that defines you. Something that you love, that is just for you. What is it that you love???

Then, last night, I had an epiphany.

I will tell you what I love. I love being a mom. There is nothing that defines me more. There is nothing that I am more passionate about. I think that's why I never had a real passion before him, I was destined to be his mom, and to give him all that I got. I have things that I like. I like to cook, I like to take beautiful pictures. Every now and again, I will stop by Michael's and grab a canvas and some paint, and then I will paint something beautiful. Give it away, and forget about it for months, until I get the urge to go again.
So there we have it.
This is what I am passionate about. This is my life, and this is what I love.